I Won't Let You Close Enough To Hurt Me...

I love listening to my mom play panio it’s like she...

Thu, 25 Aug 2011 19:18:08 -0400

I love listening to my mom play panio it’s like she forgets all the cares in the world she has and jus each pain, thought and problem goes away with each sound the keys make. Shes amazing and my hero :))

yesterday was four years since i lost one of the only men that...

Wed, 17 Aug 2011 15:41:20 -0400

yesterday was four years since i lost one of the only men that ever meant anything to me, and its funny cause its only been four years, it feels like a lifetime. my grandpa meant everything to me and was the foundation that kept my somewhat crazy family together. Now that he’s gone, I feel so distant from my family, i love them none the less but i feel very distant from them. its like we all just fell apart from each other and that hurts more than anything. four years. it breaks my heart the same as it did the day he died. and it some weird way i dont wish i could see him one last time or have him tell me he loves me, four years has been hard enough, i cant imagine seeing him and then trying to get through another four years. at first i remember being so upset and hurt and i blamed god some as to why did he take my wonderful and amazing grandpa away from me, but then the more i thought and prayed, i realized it wasnt fair of me to blame god, my grandpa was finally in a place where he worked his whole to get, which was home. and i know that he’s much happier now and as much as i love and miss him, i’ll see him again one day :)

rest in peace grandpa spurlock<3
you’ve never left me because you’ll always be in my heart.

for sara <3 cause buffy needs to just stake edward already.

Wed, 17 Aug 2011 02:51:58 -0400

for sara <3
cause buffy needs to just stake edward already.

more funny pictures! <33

Wed, 17 Aug 2011 02:50:23 -0400

more funny pictures! <33

funny harry potter pictures :))

Wed, 17 Aug 2011 02:45:10 -0400

funny harry potter pictures :))

i love love love love love love seth rogen :) i’d smoke...

Wed, 17 Aug 2011 01:59:16 -0400

i love love love love love love seth rogen :)
i’d smoke with him annnnyday!

planking!

Sun, 14 Aug 2011 02:54:04 -0400

annoys me.

— because i dont understand it!

— makes people look retarded!

— gahh really!

Are you on your period?nopeeHave you made out with anyone in...

Sun, 14 Aug 2011 02:52:31 -0400

Are you on your period?
nopee

Have you made out with anyone in the last 2 weeks?
noope.

Have you shaved your legs in the past three days?
i did about two hours ago.

Has a boy ever called you babe/baby?
yess<33

Are your toe nails painted pink?
nooo.

Are you in love with a boy?
i believe so.

Do you have more than 1 best friend?
yea just three tho.

Has someone ever called you beautiful?
yess:)

Will you be in a relationship in 4 months?
i hope so.

Are you wearing short shorts?
nope.

Is your bra pink?
not wearing one.

Ever had a boy best friend?
yess! his name is rj & i love him.

Are you tan?
pasty white tan :)

Do you wear a lot of makeup?
sometimes. depends on the occasion.

Do you enjoy wearing dresses?
wearing one now!

Are you a slut?
i used to be, somewat of one. not anymore tho.

Do you straighten your hair often?
yes.

Do you want a boyfriend?
im happy with what i have now :)

Is your best friend the funniest person you know?
lol yes they are.

Have you ever kissed the same sex?
yes

Are you waiting for someone?
father sleep to make me sleepy.

Last MySpace message you received?
ew. myspace.

Does anyone hate you?
i could care less but im sure theres a few.

What are you up to this weekend?
weekends about over but i spent it with my favorite people :)

Are you happy with life?
very much so.

Who did you spend most of your time with last night?
mom and dad

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
depends on the situation.

Did you cry today?
lmao yes.

Are you a jealous person?
no not really.

Do you like to make the first move?
nope

Do you miss anyone?
very much so.

Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
umm he annoys me. end of story.

Kiss with eyes open or closed?
closed<3

What’s most stressing right now?
school.

What are you drinking?
berry juice.

Who was your last call from?
joey.

What would you do if you had a time machine?
nothing cause i dont need one, my past is my past its over with.

Whose car did you last drive in?
dont drive

Last nonrelative you hugged?
kendal

Are you wearing pajamas?
umm no

List three things you’ve consumed today?
pizza, sub, and eggs.

The last song you listened to was?
next to you // chris brown

Would you sing the song you are listening to in public?
yea

Where is the furthest place you have been from home?
california

What is your least favorite Sour Patch Kids color?
red

Have you ever had Fiji water?
yes!

Do you like mashed potatoes?
yes

Are your nails long or short?
short

Is there anyone getting on your nerves right now?
nopee.

Any concerts coming up that you want to go to?
ceelo green

Have you ever seen No Booty Calls on YouTube?
no

Who last sent you something via mail?
my brother wrote me :)

Are you your best friend’s best friend?
yes, i believe so

Have you ever seen the movie Matilda?
lol yea

How long has it been since you have been to a concert?
years

Is there anyone you are willing to take a bullet for?
yea

Do people underestimate you?
all the time

What was the last thing you searched online for?
graphics

What is for dinner?
had pizza

How are you different today than you were yesterday?
just more tired.

What is the last gift you received?
umm a watch :)

Do you have a lot of tshirts?
toooo many!

Do you like bread crust or do you prefer it cut off?im not...

Sun, 14 Aug 2011 02:26:37 -0400

Do you like bread crust or do you prefer it cut off?
im not really a fan of crust

What is your favorite lunch meat?
roast beef.

Have you ever driven while drunk/intoxicated?
lol ive never driven sober.

Do you think you could ever have an abortion if you unexpectedly turned up pregnant?
heck no.

What do you do to pass the time when you’re a passenger on a long car journey?
sleep or listen to music.

How often would you say you updated your Facebook status?
daily. along with twitter.

It’s pouring with rain and you don’t have anywhere you need to be; how do you spend your day?
creeping on facebook :)

How often do your family go out for meals?
every now and then.

Would your parents trust you to stay home alone for a week while they went away?
yes.

What were your favorite things to do as a child?
i went fishing a lot with my dad.

Do you find it easy to open up to people about your past?
depends really on the person, ive built a lot of walls tho.

If you were shopping with your best friend, and they pick an outfit that was completely unflattering would you tell them?
yea.

Do you prefer using air conditioner or having the windows down when you’re driving on a hot day?
both.

Is it easy to embarrass you, or are you one of those people who just plays things off?
eh i dont really care what people think of me. most of them dont matter anyway

Are you comfortable going shopping or to the movies with your parents?
yes!

Do you have a favorite movie soundtrack?
the soundtrack to when it rome is pretty up there for me.

How old were you when you met your first love?
20.

Are you taking this survey in a place other than your home?
no.

Your last ex finds out you’ve fallen in love with another person?
i could care less what that piece of shit thinks :)

What is the last non alcoholic beverage you had?
berry something juice :)

I don’t care about you? I beg to differ, actually. I might not...

Mon, 08 Aug 2011 12:18:58 -0400

I don’t care about you? I beg to differ, actually. I might not care in the way you want me to, but I care. I learned my lesson and I got over you. People might disagree with me, but they think that since I cared about you so much, that I just can’t let you go like that. But I did, and the way I know that I am completely over you, is because yes, I thought about breaking up with him for you, but I didn’t feel that pull like I usually felt. I felt like it would be a mistake. I felt like if I chose you over him, I would have regretted it more than I regret you, and I couldn’t handle that to be honest. That night that you told me you made a mistake, I’ve never cried like that before. I didn’t cry hard, and I didn’t get angry, but I sat there and felt a pain that I’ve never felt before. I’m not going to give you my heart again. I’ve built this wall around myself, but only to keep you out and I’m sorry but it’s going to stay that way. I can tell you’re trying to change my mind, but I’m not budging. I’m not giving you second thought and I won’t let him go for you.

He screwed up, and you did absolutely nothing wrong. You gave...

Thu, 04 Aug 2011 09:47:19 -0400

He screwed up, and you did absolutely nothing wrong. You gave him your heart and you trusted him to keep it and protect it, but he couldn’t. And honestly he’s not mature enough. He’s not smart enough. If he was smart, he would have cared for you with every fiber of his being and been with you in every spare second he could, but he didn’t.

You know what your problem is? You get attached, fast. And once you’re attached to someone, you do...

Wed, 03 Aug 2011 16:26:39 -0400

You know what your problem is? You get attached, fast. And once you’re attached to someone, you do everything you can to please them and make them happy. It’s never been about what you want; it’s always everyone’s needs before your own. You give out too many chances to people, who quite frankly, do not deserve them. They take advantage of you, and you become a pushover. But you’re okay with that, because they’re in your life and that’s all you ever really wanted. And even if they screw you over, you’ll still be there for him…because that’s you, that’s who you are. Once you get attached to someone, they capture your heart and they always have a place there. And that is why it’s so hard for you to let go.

-One-That’s why love is madness. It’s too easy to lose your...

Tue, 02 Aug 2011 20:54:29 -0400

-One-
That’s why love is madness. It’s too easy to lose your mind when you lose your heart.

-Two-
It’s not how bad the problem is, but how badly it’s hurting the person who has it.

-Three-
Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it’s what you are expected to give — which is everything.

-Four-
Don’t do anything half-ass. If you love someone, love them with all your heart. If you hate someone, hate them until it hurts.

-Five-
We have to be in control and love takes that away.
People like us, we can’t tolerate vulnerability.
But despite our best efforts, sooner or later,
love seems to catch up w/ us & then we fall apart.

-Six-
And it was then that I realized that this was the last time we would see each other. It was the last time we’d get to hold hands, the last time I would get to tell you it will be alright. It was then I realized the meaning of perfect. It was a day like this, in a place right here, with our pinkies locked without a care in the world.

-Seven-
Sometimes in life, things get messed up. People over think, over analyze, and assume. It’s human nature though. We aren’t perfect and I’m learning that more and more each day. Everybody’s beautiful, everybody’s flawed, and everybody deserves second chances. I don’t care what you did, how bad you did it or anything. Sometimes we just weren’t ready to make it right the first time. We’re only human, remember that.

-Eight-
Never be totally dependent on anyone because even your own shadow leaves you when you’re in the darkness.

-Nine-
Sometimes you just have to finally admit that you don’t deserve any of this, and leave. Even if it’s going to be the hardest thing you ever do.

-Ten-
I guess you can say I’m complicated, but I’d rather be difficult than easy any day.

-Eleven-
To rise to the success above you, you have to get over yourself.

-Twelve-
But most importantly, it’s about letting go. It’s about taking everything you thought was true and throwing it out the window. It’s about embracing life’s unpredictability, letting go of boundaries, and starting over.

-Thirteen-
You know what hurts most? The seconds in the morning where you’ve just woken up, and for those mere precious seconds, you’ve forgotten the reasons you’re unhappy; the reasons you’re so broken. And then it hits you again, like a stab to the heart, and you remember all the reasons you didn’t want to wake up. Yeah, that hurts.

-Fourteen-
Dear girls, if a guy pauses a video game just to text you back. Marry him.

-Fifteen-
Speak your mind. Don’t let anyone censor you. You have to express yourself no matter what anyone else thinks about it.

(probably my favorite quote.)

-Sixteen-
There’s a skinny girl inside of me trying to get out but I usually shut her up with cookies.

(nope i lied, this one is :) fuxk a skinny b!tch)

-Eighteen-
I didn’t change, I grew up. You should try it sometime.
(too jerome, take this advice, please and thank you.)

-Nineteen-
I won’t be your consolation prize. I love you, either your going to love me or get out of my life.

-Twenty-
Karma has more balls then me, and is by far a much bigger bitch than I could ever be. So I have no doubt in my mind, that you will get exactly what you deserve.

-Twenty-One-
“Fearless” is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. Fearless is falling madly in love again, even though you’ve been hurt before. Fearless is walking into your freshman year of high school at fifteen. Fearless is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again… even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. It’s fearless to have faith that someday, things will change. Fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. I think it’s fearless to fall for your best friend, even though he’s in love with someone else. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, I think it’s fearless to stop believing them. It’s fearless to say “you’re NOT sorry”, and walk away. I think loving someone despite what people think is fearless. I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. Letting go is fearless. Then moving on and being alright… that’s fearless too. But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and Prince Charming and happily ever after. That’s why I write these songs. Because I think love is fearless.

-Twenty-Two-
“Sometimes,” said Pooh, “the smallest things take up the most room in our heart.”

-Twenty-Three-
I want to be alright without you. I want to smile, i want to laugh, i just
want to stop lying to myself. You’ve been putting me down for way
too long and i know now it’s time to let you go. Its time i stop worrying
about you and your precious little life; it’s time i think about myself
for a change. It’s time i treat myself right, and leave behind those who
don’t. It’s time i dig myself out of this hole, and start all over again with
someone who just might be willing to give me the chance,
that you never did.

-Twenty-Four-
I’m not even upset, hurt, or angry anymore. I’m just tired. I’m tired of putting in
more effort than I receive. I’m tired of holding on for nothing. I’m tired of believing all your lies. I’m tired of proving me wrong every time. I’m tired of getting my hopes up and being disappointed again.

-Twenty-Five-
No matter what, once in your life, someone will hurt you. That someone will take all that you are, and rip it into pieces and they won’t even watch where the pieces land. But through the breakdown, you’ll learn something about yourself. You’ll learn that you’re strong. And no matter how hard they destroy you,that you can conquer anyone.

-Twenty-Six-
When you truly care for someone, you don’t look for faults. You don’t look for
answers. You don’t look for mistakes. Instead, you fight the mistakes.You accept
the faults and overlook the excuses. The measure of love is when you love
without measure. There are rare chances that you will meet the person you
love and who loves you in return. So once you have it, don’t ever let go. That
chance might never come your way again.

-Twenty-Seven-
Learn to accept that you are not perfect, nobody is, the important thing is to be
aware of where your imperfections lie.

-Twenty-Eight-
She’s the girl that has a few best friends and doesn’t need anymore. The girl that
laughs the hardest at her own jokes. She’s the girl that will hang up on you, but
then call you right back and say sorry. She’s the girl who will never leave your side
when you need her. The girl who will go out of her way to cheer you up. She’s the
girl who never sleeps without her teddy bear by her side. She’s the girl who says
she isn’t ticklish, but really is. She’s the girl who will not give up on you if she really believes in you. She’s the girl who believes in loving somebody forever.

-Twenty-Nine-
Everything in life is temporary. So if things are going good, enjoy it because it
won’t last forever. And if things are going bad, don’t worry. It can’t last forever either.

-Thirty-
Stop talking about love. Every asshole in the world says he loves somebody.
It means nothing. What you feel only matters to you. Its what you do to the
people you love, that’s the only thing that matters. its the only thing that counts.